We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
When are your genitals available?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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