Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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