Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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