I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
