i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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