we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
