I hate all girls vehemently.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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