everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
