I didn't shave. On purpose
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
