Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
