did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
