I look better un-naked...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize