how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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