you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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