so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
