Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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