mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize