She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
