then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
