Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
