in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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