Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
