i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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