I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
