Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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