Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
no you cant smoke seaweed
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
