he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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