oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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