if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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