when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Blood and glitter go together right?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
