We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize