how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
