Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
