ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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