Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
