We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Everyone says I win the strip club
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
