AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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