Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize