doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
