ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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