We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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