I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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