so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Do you still have your period?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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