Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
