I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Welp...herpes.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Did you just see the Batmobile???
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
