So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
