Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
