Whod you bang
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
