Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
