I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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