You made me cry and you don't even care
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
