I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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