ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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