I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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