you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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