He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
