Please, let me fuck your mom
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
