I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
