Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize