I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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