yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
