Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
