marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
