I hate all girls vehemently.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
did i walk over a car last night?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
