Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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