I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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