so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize