He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
