You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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