Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
