imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
